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Saturday 28 April 2012

remembering what's most important...

It's an interesting time... While we were away and probably before that to be honest, I had been pondering about what I should be doing and how I can be a better husband, Dad and so on..

It's funny how we think that when we are really busy we must be doing something really good for our families. So busy that you come home from work and then do more work on the computer, or do some pre-reading for a meeting coming up, or prepare a report for something else, or organise some business stuff or sort some paperwork and on and on it goes - and all this when you are 'not working'! seems stupid I know but that was exactly what I was doing. One night I remember Kristen telling me I'm doing too many things - yes I know I said "but I'm doing it all for our family."
Really? Is it really for your family who don't see that much of you, or get much out of you when you ARE at home? I remember she counted the things I was involved with at the time - came out to be at least 10 separate things once the contract work, business stuff, church stuff, boards, national organisations and things were all taken into account. I've since cut that back which in itself has been a relief.

I thought I was being a good Dad and a great husband by doing all those things because I was doing all that work so that we have income to live, to survive - and survive we did but I've since realised it doesn't help us to thrive.

There was seemingly no end to the work. I would try to spend time with the kids and with Kristen - and would actually schedule in time in my weekly planner to do so every week - problem was it wasn't long enough. It would end up being like an hour or two a week if that and even then it wasn't focused time with them. I would still be thinking about what work I had done or still needed to do. While I thought I could see the end in sight, the light at the end of the tunnel kept moving - it would seem closer and then all of a sudden it would be so far away I could barely make it out.

A weird way to start a blog that is supposed to be about health you're probably thinking. What has this got to do with health? Well it all comes down to chronic stress. Low grade long term stress (as opposed to the fight or flight type stress), leads to increased cortisol levels which in turn tells our body we are under stress and then the biochemical machinery kicks us into fat storing mode.
There is no shortage of stressed people out there - question is how to we manage stress better. We need to learn how to relax and chill out more as my wife says but that is easier said than done.
Part of the health journey should be learning ways to effectively deal with stress. Make time to do things that relax you - I've started doing setting aside time each day for "quiet" time. This is where I can just do nothing for at least 10 minutes a day and ponder something. I've found it awesome! It is also very refreshing and helps to keep me focused on the important things in life - my family!

Give it a go this week for at least 7 days and see if you notice a difference!

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